Trina Letter - With Sub-Titles

Saturday, December 10, 2005
(Letter-writing with sub-titles)

Dear Trina:
(That sucks. Try again.)

My love:
(Oh geez. When you bought the laptop, was a dress included with it???)

Hey, Navy!
(Better.)

Writing to say HI and see how things are.
(Wow. It may not be possible to be more boring.)

We're all well here, and enjoying a little winter snow and a lot of cold.
(Wrong. I can be more boring.)

Your sisters are doing well and send their love.
(And they're wondering when their PSPs will get here.)

Your mother is going crazy in the house, decorating all vertical and horizontal surfaces in sight.
(Mr. and Mrs. Claus had a garage sale. We got everything!)

We got a tree and it's covered with the usual decorations.
(A tinsel bomb exploded on it.)

We got a beautiful Christmas card from your mother's parents.
(Now they can ignore us for another year.)

The holiday spirit is in full-blast at my office.
(The supervisors took their knives out of the workers' backs for one whole hour.)

Your mother says her work is going well, too.
(Now that the top supervisor has gotten a manicure on company time.)

The college classes at the prison are winding down and the students are looking forward to the semester break.
(Best of all, they haven't made me their butt monkey.)(yet)

How is your division coming together? Are you guys working as a team?
(Have you stuffed the blabbermouths down the head, yet?)

Looking at Chicago weather, it looks real cold there. Try to keep warm.
(USAF boot camp is in San Antonio, Texas. It'll be 67 degrees and sunny there tomorrow.)

The Cubs traded for some energy and speed on the field. This could be their year!
(Yeah, their year to suck eggs yet again.)

Hey, did you hear about Brokeback Mountain? It's a western about two rodeo stars. How cool is that?
(They do WHAT???!!!)

Your sisters are really looking forward to seeing their big sister over the holidays.
(They're expecting you to buy all the beer.)

Running out of things to say here.
(Because I drank all the beer.)

All my love,
Air Force

[Yes, I really did send this letter to her like this. :-) ]