Message to Other Navy Dads

[Just posted this on the Navy chat board under Delayed Enlistment Program. Dunno if the moderators will let it through, but it helped me get some stuff out of my system.][Edit: It got posted.]

"Haven't seen too many Navy Dads on these boards, so I thought I'd send a shout-out to my homeboys who have kids in DEP or boot.

My daughter shipped yesterday after five months of DEP and by the time you read this, she'll be in-processing at Great Lakes. I can't believe she's gone and I cannot believe how much I miss her. I don't know if it's a gender thing, but I really wasn't into the DEP thing as much as her mother. Maybe it was denial, but to think that my baby was going out in the Big Grown-UP World known as Our United States Navy was a little difficult to wrap my brain around. Now that she's gone, I can't help but think of all the missed chances I had to talk to her.

Here's a clue, guys, and don't be surprised if your wife prints this out and staple-gun's it to your forehead:

You are the father of a DEPper. That means that your son or daughter has measured up to some very high standards in a stranger's eyes and this stranger has decided that your kid is worthy enough to protect our country and our way of life. You should be glad because that says something about you as a parent.

The bad news is your kid is leaving. Period. And once he/she heads out the door, you will not see that person for months. When it does happen, though, he or she will be a grown-up and probably one of the most responsible people you'll ever meet. Yes, I'm talking about the kid that once had a three-month pizza under their bed.

Whatever you are doing right now at work or on the golf course is not important, so stop doing it. You have a bigger job ahead. You need to be man enough to set aside whatever bad feelings or disagreements you may have recently had with your son and daughter. You need to go talk to him or her and you need to do it right now. You need to tell them about how you dealt with the Real World at their age, especially if you're a veteran yourself. Even if you're not, you've got some life experience they need to hear: how to deal with elevated levels of expectation; how to learn during times of high stress; how to make the mission the most important thing in their lives.

Don't be surprised if they blow you off. Heck, you should expect it. Keep trying. As their shipdate gets closer, they'll start to listen because the weight of their decision will get pretty darn heavy. But don't wait for them to come to you. Keep reaching for them and don't stop. They only need to reach back and grab your hand once for things to work.

Now stop reading and go talk to them right now. They need you. And you may not realize it, but you need them just as bad.

Take care."