"He's the Man."

I finally broke down and bought this silly jersey. If it doesn't fit when it gets here, it will by the spring, so help me, Waist!

Finished tonight's class and dismissed my students without a chance of anyone landing in the hole, which is an improvement. They still don't have all of the class materials they need, but they didn't need them tonight. I will be calling WSCC on a daily basis next week.

This absolutely slays me. Please don't tell anyone in the White House. It'll give them ideas. Thanks, Aunt Lily.

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Shalac, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana. However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made twenty-five million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again."

"The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

And I'm the Man of the House and have the song to prove it! (WARNING: Not for dial-up unless you want to wait a long time.)

Addition to the Desert Island Book List: How could I forget The Godfather by Mario Puzo? And if the island has electricity, The Godfather Trilogy is going, too.